Oh Poo!

Me and my Nemesis Marky Marc... on his home soil Deutschland... I think he's skinnier than me these days?? Needs to eat a bit more Nutella me thinks.
Pre Challenge Kraichgau.

Well it's been a busy time 'settling' into my new home in Mainz and getting into the 'swing' of all things German. I wanted to get a few pics together before doing a Blog on 'Life in Mainz' so that'll follow soon.
In the mean time I have done a race... Challenge Kraichgau a couple of weeks ago... with the guys from Team Rhein Main, the German Crew and of course the Ce Meister General. Another great Half Distance Challenge event over an awesome but tough course in 30+ degrees temps. Plenty of World Class Athletes too including The Man Norman Stadler.
It wasn't quite a great race for me :-(. Leading up to the race my fitness was coming on pretty good what with training with the Danes and all that, but it was pretty much all base work so I wasn't quite prepared for a pain fest in a very tough Half Ironman in my first race since Challenge Wanaka... I should really of done it as a training race... but you know me??

Fellow Team mate and Mainzer Nina. Had an awesome race finishing 8th in the Women's Race.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE BEST OF BRITISH TOILET HUMOUR DON'T READ ON :-)

Swim was OK, good for me... swam over Marc a couple of times hee hee ;-). Bike was tough... lots of hills and tricky decents through cute little villages. Post race there were quite a few guys walking around with a lot of road rash. I had my own crash incident... on one section the bike the course went over a narrow cobbled street... cyclists coming both ways... of course the cobbles caused everyones' bottles to jump out of their flash water bottle holders. One guy coming towards me tried to avoid a bottle and swung into the oppsite lane straight into me. Our handlebars locked and I decided to wrap my balls around my cross bar... Serweeeeeeeeet! Ooooo.... I thought it was game over but luckily we weren't going too fast, I managed to find my balls again and carry on... although lets just say I couldn't sit down for the next 5 minutes :-(.

Anyway... bike over... felt a bit rough but not too bad and was just happy to of got the 90K done. I set off on the run feeling almost sprightly?? After 7K I was hurting but nothing more than normal.
The lead chick (Bex Keat) was about 10 mins behind so that was a good sign... and I wouldn't get 'chicked'! I was about in the top 20 which was my pre-race goal.
Then at the 10K mark I started to feel a little quere... just a wee bit dizzy, legs felt weak... I carried on for about a K... thought I'll push through it... then it was like 'OMG! My bowels are gonna blow!' from that point I had 5 seconds... legged it into a bush... and in one swift movement like superman I managed to get my kit off and squat while just letting rip... man it was bad??? :-(
The worst thing was that I had inadvertently ran through a bush which although protected me from the runners on the course it did not protect me from the children that were playing in the play ground on the other side of the bush... Bugga! In fact one child (a girl about 3 years old) was standing virtually right next to me... and she just kept starring... Me with nothing but a number belt to protect my decency... For some reason I thought if I can't see them it won't be a problem so I hid my head between my legs as I continued my excursions... on reflection I think they would've been able to still see me and I would of presented quite a freakish site??? Poor children I hope I haven't scarred them for life... but Triathlon Races really should have a WARNING sign on them... an 18 certificate or something?
Finally I managed to crawl onto a park bench for a quick re-assessment and re-think of the situation... that was not before (being the Wilderness / Bush Wise Kiwi that I am) managing to pick some grass in a vain attempt to hide my vast amount of poo.
I can't remember how long I sat on the bench for... didn't know what to do really... I'd never had to poo in a race before (life's all about new experiences I guess)... I did check my balls at one stage, (discreetly of course) to see if they had survived the crash... they had... a bonus I guess?
Finally a ref found me and got some med guy who helped me to walk back to the transition area and I called it a day.
Don't really know what caused the problem?? I couldn't eat for two days after without pooing out green / yellow liquid though my stomach felt fine. Can only think it was some German duck poo I'd swallowed with me being used to nice clean lakes of New Zealand???

I think it must of been a day for DNF's... After having an awesome swim and bike, just about as she was to enter transition Helle crashed badly in her ITU World Championship Race in Madrid. She's making a speedy recovery though and looking forward to getting back into it again! Pro Triathlon is a very tough job!


Helle's Road Rash after skidding along the ground on her back with nothing but a swimsuit for protection. Only some of the wounds were dressed to see whether 'Dry' or 'Wet' was the best method for healing... You can see from this that the wounds that were kept coverered (Left side) were healing alot better.

The only other bad thing of the day was that I LOST MY JANDLES!! Stupidly wore them to the swim start (I forgot I was wearing them!!?!?) I gave them to some kind chick in the hope I would see her at the end... yeh right easy to find someone amongst 1000's of people?? Ah well an excuse to buy some more I guess.

Anyway I'm better now and loving training around here with my Chums in Mainzy Land. Gonna do some shorter races to start 'loving that race pain kinda feeling' again.
Thanks again to Felix, Timo the Challenge Crew and Celia for looking after us athletes so well again.

Sweet as...

Bis Dann

GO New Zealand! Go England! and I suppose... Go Deutschland!

Westy
xxx